funny sms office jokes emails: family jokes

Showing posts with label family jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

wife and husband

Wife: You delivered an excellent speech.
Hubby: Thanks dear but the audience was full of fools and idiots.
Wife: Is that why you addressed them as your brothers and sisters

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied,

"That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Awesome SMS jokes

Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!

Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A . Ek Bigadti hai to 'BANDH ' ho jati hai....Doosri Bigadti hai to 'SHUROO' ho jati hai

Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka BLOOD GROUP ek hi hai.
A .. Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ?
A . In both cases you feel 'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta'

Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha , meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaaye bataiye
A . Sadhu bola , Upaaye hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Secret Behind Happy Married Life..

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"

Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"

Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

funny sms office jokes emails