funny sms office jokes emails: SMS Jokes

Showing posts with label SMS Jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Funny jokes SMS jokes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

there are 8 men raping one lady. the lady was laughing while raping. afer raped the lady....they asked
"why u r laughing??????"she replied that she has AIDS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A pair of loving couple went to a hotel one night..

After finishing their ''business'', suddenly the guy saw a photo in his gf's wallet.

''Is that ur ex my dear? tell me pls coz i don't mind about ur past.''

''Really? Good..that was me before the surgery!''
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher:what is "blu*e film"??

Student : it is family movie,which the whole family watches,but

,"AT a DIFFERENT TIMES".......
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man into work says:
Boss I cant come to work today, I'm sick.

Boss asks:
How sick are u?

The man replies:
I am f**king my sister, how sick is that?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacherraw A Diagram Of Bacteria
kid :Here It Is Sir
Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything
kid :Sir,Can u See Bacteria Withot Microscop.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife: Lets go out n have some fun tonight

Husband: Okay, but if u get home before i do, leave the hallway light on....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 children were sitting outside a clinic.One of them was crying very loudly.
B : Y are u crying?
A : I came here for a blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.
A : Y are u crying now?
B : I came for a urine test!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady sitting on a park bench.
Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?
lady angrily:How dare U ?
Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man was traveling in train with 13 children...
a lady asked these all are ur children ???
He replied No Madam!! Actually im the owner of condom factory and these are customers complaints...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Vidya Balan was going to London on a plane and Shahrukh Khan wanted to steal her window seat. So he whispers her telling all seats going to London are in the middle row. Thanking Shahrukh, instantly she vacates her window seat.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Maths teacher if you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to aruna, 3 to anitha and 4 to kavita then what will you get?
Student: 3 new girlfriends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHY AMERICAN NAMES ARE LIKE

JACKSON

WILSON

MARKSON

ROBINSON

KENSON

ANDERSON

DAVIDSON

JEMSON

JOHNSON.......

SO THAT THEIR MOM CAN REMEMBER

WHO IS WHOSE SON
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir:Which Comes First Sun or Moon?
Sardar:Yes! Moon..
Sir:How??..
Sardar:Only after Honey'MOON', 'SON' will be Born!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astudent was asked to meke a sign board for traffic rules near a college campus.
He wrote: Drive carefully.
Don't kill the students.
Just wait for the teachers..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, March 25, 2010

All girls will hate this... just for fun

1) What is the difference between women and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

2) Why do women always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...

3) What do women have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

4) If you drop a women and a brick out of a plane,which one would hit
the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.....

5) What did God say after he created woman?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created man

6) What's the difference between an intelligent woman & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.

7) What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business

8) What makes women chase men when they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have no intention of driving (The Best in the lot)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Awesome SMS jokes

Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!

Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A . Ek Bigadti hai to 'BANDH ' ho jati hai....Doosri Bigadti hai to 'SHUROO' ho jati hai

Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka BLOOD GROUP ek hi hai.
A .. Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ?
A . In both cases you feel 'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta'

Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha , meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaaye bataiye
A . Sadhu bola , Upaaye hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Secret Behind Happy Married Life..

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"

Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"

Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

funny sms office jokes emails