Funny jokes SMS jokes

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there are 8 men raping one lady. the lady was laughing while raping. afer raped the lady....they asked
"why u r laughing??????"she replied that she has AIDS
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A pair of loving couple went to a hotel one night..

After finishing their ''business'', suddenly the guy saw a photo in his gf's wallet.

''Is that ur ex my dear? tell me pls coz i don't mind about ur past.''

''Really? Good..that was me before the surgery!''
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Teacher:what is "blu*e film"??

Student : it is family movie,which the whole family watches,but

,"AT a DIFFERENT TIMES".......
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A man into work says:
Boss I cant come to work today, I'm sick.

Boss asks:
How sick are u?

The man replies:
I am f**king my sister, how sick is that?
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Teacherraw A Diagram Of Bacteria
kid :Here It Is Sir
Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything
kid :Sir,Can u See Bacteria Withot Microscop.
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Wife: Lets go out n have some fun tonight

Husband: Okay, but if u get home before i do, leave the hallway light on....
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An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!
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2 children were sitting outside a clinic.One of them was crying very loudly.
B : Y are u crying?
A : I came here for a blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.
A : Y are u crying now?
B : I came for a urine test!
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Lady sitting on a park bench.
Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?
lady angrily:How dare U ?
Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?
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A man was traveling in train with 13 children...
a lady asked these all are ur children ???
He replied No Madam!! Actually im the owner of condom factory and these are customers complaints...
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Once Vidya Balan was going to London on a plane and Shahrukh Khan wanted to steal her window seat. So he whispers her telling all seats going to London are in the middle row. Thanking Shahrukh, instantly she vacates her window seat.
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Maths teacher if you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to aruna, 3 to anitha and 4 to kavita then what will you get?
Student: 3 new girlfriends.
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WHY AMERICAN NAMES ARE LIKE

JACKSON

WILSON

MARKSON

ROBINSON

KENSON

ANDERSON

DAVIDSON

JEMSON

JOHNSON.......

SO THAT THEIR MOM CAN REMEMBER

WHO IS WHOSE SON
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Sir:Which Comes First Sun or Moon?
Sardar:Yes! Moon..
Sir:How??..
Sardar:Only after Honey'MOON', 'SON' will be Born!
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Astudent was asked to meke a sign board for traffic rules near a college campus.
He wrote: Drive carefully.
Don't kill the students.
Just wait for the teachers..
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               by bbP

RENT FOR APARTMENT-nauty joke 18+

   RENT FOR APARTMENT

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  A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

"Dear Madam,
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that:

#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:

" Dear Sir,

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. #2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. #3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady."

 

 

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Bubble In The Bath tub!

Bubble In The Bath tub!
Veryyy Funny Joke

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.

As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, "Let’s start with the boys first".

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub".

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it’s ok John. Yes next".

Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next".

Third boy: "I’m Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".

Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next".

This continues...

And the last boy stands up "I’m Harry and my hobby is to see Bubble in the bathtub".

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don’t think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."

First girl: "I’m Julie and my hobby is to see birds".

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next".

Second girl: "I’m Ruby and I like to collect perfumes".

Teacher "Now it’s like educated grown up girls. Ok next.

You sweet Girl; Yes you..."

Most beautiful and the Cutest Girl in the class gets up:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Maam, my name is Bubble, and My hobby is to take bath three times a day".

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